Three Things Men Need to Tell Their Wives in 2014
Shelton Easley
Every January 1, people all over the world sit down and make a list, either writing it out on paper, typing it in an article, or just thinking about it and keeping it in their own mind, the list of this new years’ Resolutions. They do this because the new year brings the promise of a new start, and with it the chance to finally do the right thing in some part of their life. Some people might think they need a complete do-over in life as a whole. Whatever the case might be, they start January 1 full of hope and energy and determination. This is the year they finally lose weight, or get control of their finances, and the list goes on. There has been no success, but there has also been no failure. It’s only January 1! (Hey, everybody needs encouragement, whatever form that might take!)
I am no stranger or exception to the New Years’ Resolution game. I have made many more resolutions than I have kept. Most of them have been the classic Weight Loss! resolutions. Many had to do with improving my relationship with God and family. They were all well-intentioned and strongly desired. However, like a dry forest in a hot summer, they almost all went up in smoke and flames, burned and buried in the ashes of lost years. My habits didn’t change, and the things about myself that I hoped would improve did not get better, and sadly, in many cases became worse.
So that we don’t get lost in the drama and over-contemplation that seems to be chasing these thoughts, let’s move on to the real heart of the matter for today. I am one who feels very strongly that a man should be the acknowledged and respected leader of his household. This a God-given position from the very beginning of scripture. Genesis 3:16 says,
“Yet your desire will be for your husband, And he will rule over you.”
This position was reiterated in the New Testament, as Paul wrote in Ephesians 5:23-24,
“23 For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body. 24 But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything.”
Large libraries worth of works have been produced by people who want to argue this point, both for and against. Many hours have been spent on talk and news programs doing the same. A recent book released by Candace Cameron Bure (Yes, that’s Kirk’s baby sister), has stirred that pot again because in one passage, Candace discusses the fact that she is a submissive wife. Now, I’m not trying to debate the merits of this argument one way or the other. The main reason is because I am a Christian man who believes that God’s word says that man is to take the ultimate leadership role in the family, and with that, the ultimate responsibility for the outcome of family dynamics. (Ladies, do you really want that?) So, in keeping with that premise, I want to give you guys three things that you should resolve to tell your wives in 2014 that will go far in helping you to take control of your role as leader of the family.
1. I love you!
Yes, I have heard the old joke. “She knows I love her. I told her I loved her on our wedding day, and if that ever changes, I’ll let her know.” Can I say, in family-friendly and God-approved language, that is a bunch of bull hockey! It is also redneck, backwoods, sexist, egotistical, chauvinist, and completely unbiblical. The bible is filled with scripture that tells us how God loves us. Here are some examples:
Mark 10:23 Looking at him, Jesus felt a love for him and said to him, "One thing you lack : go and sell all you possess and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven ; and come, follow Me."
John 11:3 So the sisters sent word to Him, saying, "Lord, behold, he whom You love is sick.
John 13:34 A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another, even as I have loved you, that you also love one another.
John 15:9 Just as the Father has loved Me, I have also loved you; abide in My love.
John 3:16 For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life.
Ephesians 5:2 walk in love, just as Christ also loved you and gave Himself up for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God as a fragrant aroma.
Ephesians 5:25-30 25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her,26 so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing ; but that she would be holy and blameless. 28 So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself ; 29 for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church, 30 because we are members of His body.
So, apparently, God loves us, and Jesus Christ loves us! How do we know this? Because they tell us! This should be an earthshaking truth for any of us, especially those of us who are already Christ-followers. Not only does the God who created the universe love us, but He cares enough to let us know, not just once, but many times.
Now this same God thought so much of us that He didn’t want us to be alone, so He created men and women, and then gave them to each other in the first marriage. Genesis 1 and 2 tell the story of creation, including marriage and the family. The passage in Ephesians 5 details to us how a man should treat his wife. Men, we are told that we should be willing to sacrifice all for our wives. We are to make decisions as if we were only affecting our own bodies. Finally, we are to do all we do so that the world sees our wives in the best way possible. The only way that we can do this is to love them unconditionally and without reservation.
Men, if you are willing to do all of this, shouldn’t you be able to open your mouth and say, “I love you”? I can think of at least four times in the day when you should tell your wife you love her: 1) when you wake in the morning, 2) when you leave for work, 3) when you come home from work, and 4) when you lay down to go to sleep. Don’t think four times a day is enough. Any other time in the day that you can let her know would probably be fine with her as well. Call, text, leave a note, email, or whatever you can do to tell her how you feel will keep her reminded that she is the most important person in your life and your top priority.
If you can do number 1, numbers 2 and 3 should be easy.
To be continued...
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