Three Things Men Need to Tell Their Wives in 2014, Part 2
Shelton Easley
Every January 1, people all over the world sit down and make a list, either writing it out on paper, typing it in an article, or just thinking about it and keeping it in their own mind, the list of this new years’ Resolutions. They do this because the new year brings the promise of a new start, and with it the chance to finally do the right thing in some part of their life. Some people might think they need a complete do-over in life as a whole. Whatever the case might be, they start January 1 full of hope and energy and determination. This is the year they finally lose weight, or get control of their finances, and the list goes on. There has been no success, but there has also been no failure. It’s only January 1! (Hey, everybody needs encouragement, whatever form that might take!)
I am no stranger or exception to the New Years’ Resolution game. I have made many more resolutions than I have kept. Most of them have been the classic Weight Loss! resolutions. Many had to do with improving my relationship with God and family. They were all well-intentioned and strongly desired. However, like a dry forest in a hot summer, they almost all went up in smoke and flames, burned and buried in the ashes of lost years. My habits didn’t change, and the things about myself that I hoped would improve did not get better, and sadly, in many cases became worse.
So that we don’t get lost in the drama and over-contemplation that seems to be chasing these thoughts, let’s move on to the real heart of the matter for today. I am one who feels very strongly that a man should be the acknowledged and respected leader of his household. This a God-given position from the very beginning of scripture. Genesis 3:16 says,
“Yet your desire will be for your husband, And he will rule over you.”
This position was reiterated in the New Testament, as Paul wrote in Ephesians 5:23-24,
“23 For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body. 24 But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything.”
Large libraries worth of works have been produced by people who want to argue this point, both for and against. Many hours have been spent on talk and news programs doing the same. A recent book released by Candace Cameron Bure (Yes, that’s Kirk’s baby sister), has stirred that pot again because in one passage, Candace discusses the fact that she is a submissive wife. Now, I’m not trying to debate the merits of this argument one way or the other. The main reason is because I am a Christian man who believes that God’s word says that man is to take the ultimate leadership role in the family, and with that, the ultimate responsibility for the outcome of family dynamics. (Ladies, do you really want that?) So, in keeping with that premise, I want to give you guys three things that you should resolve to tell your wives in 2014 that will go far in helping you to take control of your role as leader of the family.
2. You are beautiful!
So, have you gotten the hang of telling her that you love her? Don’t worry, it is definitely one of those things that gets easier the more you do it. Eventually, those words will be a part of your nature. While you’re at it, the next phrase also needs to be a part of your nature so that you are telling her everyday, “You are beautiful!”
Now, before you say something crazy, such as, “Well, she’s really not that much to look at,” let me tell you something. I don’t care if she weighs 800 pounds, has no teeth, and combs her hair in a combover. You married her! So, unless you really were forced into the marriage, there was something about her that made you think she was attractive. Now, I’m going to assume that none of you would want to marry someone you think is ugly, regardless of other people’s opinions. So, if she was attractive to you then, she should be attractive now.
In case you need some help finding the words to say, let me point you to some verses from the Bible that are great expressions of Solomon’s appreciation of the beauty of his young wife.
Song of Solomon 1:8 - "If you yourself do not know, Most beautiful among women, Go forth on the trail of the flock And pasture your young goats By the tents of the shepherds
Song of Solomon 1:15 - How beautiful you are, my darling, How beautiful you are! Your eyes are like doves
Song of Solomon 4:7 - You are altogether beautiful, my darling, And there is no blemish in you
Song of Solomon 7:6 - How beautiful and how delightful you are, My love, with all your charms !
Now, Solomon is quite poetic with his feelings, and he uses phrases that to our modern ears sound very strange. The sentiment, however, is exactly what you should be conveying to your wife. You don’t have to be fancy in the words that you choose. Just be sure to choose something that is appropriate and not coarse. A sincere, simple compliment does more good than you can probably imagine. So, the next time your wife asks you if some article of clothing makes her look fat, take a minute and think about what you are going to say, and make her feel like she is the most beautiful woman in the world.
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